14 October

Losing

Had I closed my eyes for slumber
and not think of you?
Had I watched the sun rise
without acknowledging you?

Did I dare turn the page, finish a whole volume
even if it wasn't your word?
Did I dare listen to a sound
which is apart from your voice?

Is it not I who decided to succumb
to the pleasures of this earth?
Is it not I who talked to the public
without addressing the real concern?

Wasn't it me who banged the door
sulked in the corner
forgot you
broke the rules
refused to listen
lashed out
compromised
pretended
abused
raged
disintegrated
departed?

Isn't it You who was deprived?
Aren't You the king who lived lowly?
Isn't it You who received injustice
took the blame
endured the beating
died on the cross
abandoned
broken
a sinless
blameless
Holy
Lord

who thought of me
acknowledged me
wrote about me
listened to me
offered Himself
loved me
died for me


J.B.

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